Just for fun (HT to S Kraus)….
The Hierarchy of the Academic World
| DEPT. CHAIR: | Leaps tall building in a single bound Is more powerful than a locomotive Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Gives policy to God |
| FULL PROF: | Leaps short buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a switch engine Is just as fast as a speeding bullet Walks on water if the sea is calm Talks with God |
| ASSOCIATE PROF: | Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable winds Is almost as powerful as a switch engine Is faster than a speeding BB Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool Talks with God if special request is approved |
| ASSISTANT PROF: | Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings Is run over by locomotive Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury Dog paddles Talks to animals |
| GRAD STUDENT: | Runs into buildings Recognizes locomotive two out of three times Is not issued ammunition Can’t stay afloat with a life preserver Talks to walls |
| UNDERGRAD: | Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building Says “look at the choo-choo” Wets himself with a water pistol Plays in mud puddles Mumbles to himself |
| DEPT. SECRETARY: | Lifts buildings and walks under them Kicks locomotives off the tracks Catches speeding bullets in her teeth Freezes water with a single glance She is God |
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